Masturbation. For such a universal act, we tend to shroud it in a lot of euphemism and secrecy.

Many consider it separate from their sex lives, something that is inherently a self-indulgent, or even selfish, act.

However, LELO, the world’s leading name in personal pleasure, firmly believes that a pleasure shared is a pleasure doubled, and so in honour of International Masturbation Month, together with Badoink (the only lifestyle, technology and sex magazine a guy needs) we offer our 10 tips for masturbating with your partner to strengthen your bond and improve your sex lives.

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Strip Away the Stigma

Even the most confident in their sexuality can balk at sharing something so private with their partner, so first you need to think of it and treat it like any other sex act… because, if you think about it, it really is just that. Arbitrary distinctions between what is sex and what isn’t can hamper you from fully expressing yourself, and this particularly pertains to manual (or powerful vibrator assisted) stimulation. In fact, a good way to start is by ‘just’ masturbating with your partner, not treating it as foreplay.

Be Open

It can be hard to communicate the desire to do anything slightly out of the ordinary with your partner. Think back to all of the things you’ve already shared with them, and how much closer it has brought you as a couple. Being open, of course, also includes ‘being open-minded’ as your partner may be sharing things with you that they have never shared with someone else.

Pay Attention

If you’ve both decided you’re comfortable masturbating together, you are presented with a gold opportunity to both show your partner what exactly it is that you want sexually, as well as learn the same of them. Don’t waste it; be both clear and upfront about what you like and pay attention to what does it best for them.

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Take the Stage

While you’re showing off to your partner, don’t be afraid to give them a bit of a show. Whether you’re treating mutual masturbation as foreplay or the main event, there’s no reason why you can’t look good doing it.

Relax

None of us are strangers to lazy Sunday mornings where we want to lie in bed with our favourite rabbit vibrator, making as little effort as possible.

Sleepovers or co-habitating may have stymied that particularly pleasurable pastime, but why should it? While at first blush it may seem like it should be easier to masturbate casually than making a show of it, but a lot of people compartmentalise how they express their sexuality with their partner and how they do privately.

There’s no reason why you both can’t enjoy the occasional quick orgasm and then nap without making a production of it.

Switch it Up

Of course, this also presents a good opportunity for you to switch up your own routine. A lot of solo-sexing tends to fall into routines that are both comfortable and efficient. There’s nothing wrong with that, but introduction to different stimulation, whether by changing the pressure of your hands or switching between a clitoral vibrator like SIRI™2 and g-spot stimulators like Lelo GIGI™2 can help you learn new ways to reach climax both by yourself and with your partner.

Involve Each Other

While you’re exploring new sensations, don’t forget that while you may be pleasuring yourselves, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to not also touch each other. You can both focus on each other’s erogenous zones that you can’t necessarily stimulate on your own. Of course, using LELO’s BOA Ties so he can’t touch you at all while he watches you can be quite fun as well…

Let Distance Make Your Hearts Grow Fonder

Masturbating together doesn’t necessarily mean being in the same room. Whether he’s out of town and you’d like to have a late night video chat session, or you sneak out of the office for a naughty afternoon break, technology has facilitated all kinds of fun not restricted by distance.

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Catch a Film

More and more women are becoming interested in (or at least more open about) consumption of erotic materials.

While erotic fiction are the more socially acceptable medium that women find titillation there are groups of filmmakers, actors, and fans who are dedicated to improving pornographic movies to better present female pleasure and feminist themes. Maybe you and your partner’s tastes don’t align perfectly, but just as you compromise on what TV show to watch after dinner, you can compromise and foster tastes as a couple.

Celebrate ‘Me Time’

Lastly, recognise that masturbating together doesn’t mean you ALWAYS have to do it together…and don’t be offended at all if your partner would prefer to do so solo from time to time. Masturbation is healthy and fun, but it can be important to also have moments to yourself, and respect that you partner’s appetites for sex (alone or together) may differ from yours.

Masturbating as a couple is more than just adding another kinky item to your bedroom repertoire (though it certainly can); it has the potential to bring you both closer as a couple as you’re more open about what exactly brings you pleasure.

Developing the skills to communicate your needs in the bedroom is one of the most important steps to having a healthy, satisfying sex life.

To celebrate Masturbation May LELO is offering a 20% discount on lelo.com with code SOLOSX (Valid until 31st May).


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