Recently, I read an article by Farrah Gray entitled “Why The Other Woman Slept With Your Man.”
“The bottom line, though, is that your man cheated, and no matter what a piece of garbage the other woman is or what a moron she is, you still have to deal with the fact that you have a cheater on your hands.”
Farrah’s article includes 6 reasons she slept with your man:
- She’s selfish
- She has no morals
- She’s psycho
- She’s accessible
- She’s just that dumb
- She’s desperate
This list had over 18,200 Facebook shares. I’m assuming those who shared are the ones who have been betrayed in their relationships and want proof of the other woman’s lack of worth and to demonize her. I was shocked to see a list of such amateurish quality as it had no depth to explain our human nature. Nor did it place responsibility on the male partner, with the exception of one sentence indicating his role.
Fortunately, I came across another article, “Why Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison” by Charles J. Orlando. As noted, Charles goes undercover on the “we’re married, but let’s have an affair” website known as Ashley Madison to discover what women are really seeking in the online affair game. His findings will parallel many of the points I will explain to better understand why the other woman slept with your man.
1. Women Want And Need Attention, Appreciation And Passion
When there is a longer than tolerable lapse of these needs in their current relationship or in their life in general, they will seek out ways to fill the gaps. At times, these efforts will be obvious, such as creating an Ashley Madison profile, or it may be a sudden opportunity taken without much forethought.
In an article in the Huffington Post, Jennifer Garam wrote “Why I Had An Affair With A Married Man.” She describes her affair experience.
“Before meeting David, I felt dead. But suddenly, I was alive, desired, and filled with passion and vitality… Overnight I went from years of celibacy to being naked on the floor of his office in the middle of the afternoon, constantly emailing and sexting, and having late-night dirty chats on Facebook. Consumed with thoughts of him, when we weren’t together I was either lost in memories, reliving every detail of every second with him, or longing for him, trying to figure out the next time we could see each other.”
She felt alive again, and that’s a main component in the way we choose to have an affair. The thrill is too hard to avoid.
She goes further to explain, “This feels so good I don’t want to walk away. I just want to follow this feeling wherever it goes. I have such an overactive conscience I couldn’t even take a paperclip from work without being swamped with guilt, but for some reason entering into an affair with a married man didn’t faze me.”
As humans, we all have an erotic energy. The level of intensity of this energy varies just like our temperaments, both of which are innate aspects of who we are. When our erotic energy is out of sync, we will work to meet these needs even if doing so includes questionable choices with the potential for negative consequences.
You may still ask — why did she choose my man?
2. Your Man Showed His Willingness To Step Out Of His Relationship
Men have many of the same needs as women for attention, appreciation and passion. In addition to these needs, he wants to feel like a man — capable, sexy, wanted and valued.
If the other woman shows him that he is indeed capable, sexy, wanted and valued, then the chance of crossing relationship boundaries increases. The combination of unmet needs with available opportunities can lead to an affair. Your man is the number one reason why the other woman slept with him.
The other women is actually not the issue because if it wasn’t her, it likely would have been someone else. Stop blaming and demonizing her, and look at what you and your partner can do to repair the relationship.
Read more: Read full article at Your Tango