Introducing Spankrags – are tissues decorated with the faces of sexy girls the future of masturbation?

This article first appeared on ​VICE Germany

Naked girls holding Spankrags
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I stumbled upon ​Spankrags at this year’s Venus Erotic Trade Fair and was immediately intrigued, because as far as I know nobody else has printed sexy girl faces on tissues as an aid to onanism.

But it’s obvious in retrospect: To masturbate successfully and tidily, men need both something to jerk it to and something to jerk it into — why not make something that serves both purposes? Right?

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So I decided to sit down with the guys behind Spankrags, Jonathan Courtney and Thomas Viehweger. The meeting took place at Jonathan’s office, which sort of looked like the grubby porn industry location I was expecting, complete with a painting of a half-naked Pierce Brosnan.

It’s 6 PM and the offices are already quite empty. Jonathan offers me some Glenfiddich whiskey in heavy glasses and I start with the hard-hitting questions.

VICE: First, the obvious question: Why?
Jonathan Courtney: We were working together on a project for a huge German telecommunications company in Darmstadt and spent our lunch with a few colleagues. We talked about the different opportunities women have when it comes to sex toys and men only have two: Buying a Fleshlight or fucking a sheep.

There is just nothing funny you can actually give to someone as a gift. So we just said: “What about tissues with faces printed on them?” Everybody laughed and an hour later we sent emails to each other suggesting names: Jizzies, Jizzrags, Spankrags! Later we got drunk and were like, “Hey, we could  actually do that…”

Spankrags box
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Was it difficult deciding which paper to use?
Jonathan: We actually wanted to print on tissues with a balsam covering.

You know, the ones you use for your sore nose when you’re having a cold. We thought that would feel very soft and a bit slippery. But they are not that easy to print on, so we had to find something else that looks good and doesn’t feel like sandpaper.

Just an hour ago, somebody told us the current paper feels a bit scratchy on their penis, so we definitely have to work on that.

But to tell you the truth, we never thought about people actually jerking off with it.

Did you have to do a lot of research for Spankrags?
Jonathan: I’ve been investigating this field since I was an eight-year-old boy. But we basically asked ourselves: Is it funny? Yes. Do we find it funny? Yes. Do other people laugh when we tell them about it? Yes. Research done.

The only thing we really had to look into was if there was already a similar product on the market. And the only product we found were bibs for penises. You tie it around your dick, masturbate, and cum on it.

Read the complete article online at

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