Female masturbation can be quite a mystery, not only to men but also to many women.

I will be honest with you, when I was young and still figuring out how things worked down there, I too would pick up my cues from porn, because, well, that was the only thing that showed two people fucking.

Everything else was just shades of fucking, or pretend fucking. And when you’re young and looking for a detailed guide, that just won’t do. I wanted to know what went where and porn was the only thing giving me that info.

It also showed me women masturbating. It was a weird kind of masturbation. I certainly didn’t pleasure myself that way. But then again, I was young and thought that whatever was shown on porn must be the right way, even if it didn’t feel as good. So for a while, when I had sex I would imitate the female pornstars. Ah yes, if this isn’t a good enough reason to have sex education, then I don’t know what is! Anyway, if I can pick up some untruths about female masturbation from porn, then I’m sure men can do the same. And I’m here to dispel some of these myths. I learned to trust my own feelings when it came to masturbation (and life) and discard what I ‘learned’ from porn. Real masturbation is less showy but much, much more pleasurable.

Vigorous Fingering

Um, when we’re done, I’m hoping to still have an intact vagina! I know that porn usually shows men vigorously fingering a woman, really shoving it in as if he’s trying to rip her open. And the woman seems to like it. Alas, that’s not how real women work. Our g-spot isn’t located at the end of wherever your finger is trying to poke. Instead curve your two fingers and move that in a come hither gesture. It’s a lot less sexy, yes. Which is probably why the porn stars don’t do it… it doesn’t translate well on screen.

Spread Them Open

This works great on screen because the camera needs to get that shot, but in reality, I don’t like my legs spread wide open while masturbating. Nobody does. I mean come on. Some guys try and spread ’em so open it’s like they’re going caving. What are you trying to see anyway? Nothing looks great that spread open down there. Trust me.

The Vibrator Touch

Vibrators are a funny thing with me. I like to use them on myself but don’t really like anyone else to use them on me while we play. But that’s just me; other women are different. And when I do use them, it takes more than a light brush to get me off. In fact I need to press it (rather firmly) on a certain spot on my clit before it can work. Or else it just ends up being irritating. But hey, every woman is kinda different.

However, in porn, it would seem that even the slightest touch of the vibrator is enough to get her to orgasm. Ok, I get it why porn needs to do that (if they’re squishing that down hard, that doesn’t make for a ‘good shot’) but let’s drop this in real life, ok boys? In fact, it’s best to just ask her how she likes to use her toy to play. Or better still let her take charge. She knows what she’s doing.

Real masturbation is a lot less sexy and a whole lot more frantic. I mean the whole act of having sex is a whole lot less sexy than is portrayed. Which is why people play act at having sex and also why your home shot porn video looks like crap. But let’s change things from now on and not mistake performance for pleasure.

Original article credit: Lola Lovely for BaDoink